This will be my last post for 2008 – I will be in Cabo San Lucas for a week partying like a rock star with my closest pals for New Years! My goal is to be with my good friends and have a good time.

Last year I went to Eastern Europe and it was freakin cold! This time around I decided to do something just a little warmer (although I do miss those Czech women!) Since this blog going live I’ve been having a great time meeting new people and women and refining my pick up skills. I can’t wait for what 2009 will bring.

I want to take a moment and talk about something that I have been seeing a lot lately. I get an awful lot of emails from visitors asking for tips on what to say or any killer pick up lines. However it seems that I have been getting more and more emails from guys looking to improve their inner game / self confidence. It seems there are a lot of guys that believe they have to put on a show to impress women. NO YOU DON’T! There is no reason for you to change the person that you are.

On that note here is what not to do on your next boys night out.

Why do you want to put on a ridiculous show like this? Believe me you will look like the biggest clown and the sad thing is there are guys that do this.

When I get back from vacation I have to share with you a brand new course from Carlos Xuma – Ultimate Inner Game: Total Self Confidence & Social Success. This is his secret “recipe” for mastering inner game, and building BULLETPROOF self-confidence.

I had the pleasure of getting an early copy and I must say this is the complete course step by step course you have been waiting for about developing rock solid inner game. Do yourself the favor and click this link Ultimate Inner Game and watch the free video and sign up for his video series. Hey it’s free and you have nothing to lose.

The videos are loaded with tips and strategies in developing your inner game so watch them.

Until then I will see you in 2009 and for New Years focus on having a good time. Stop trying so hard around women they will see through it and you will appear weak.

If you want to remove all your self doubt and fear, Carlos Xuma’s Ultimate Inner Game: Total Self Confidence & Social Success program will show you just how it’s done.
Happy New Years!!!

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Okay so we have been talking about the perils of beta males and how awful it is for these guys. However I want to take the time to review what it takes to become Alpha Male and improve your life as I did mine.

For years I struggled with shyness and I admit I wasted a large portion of my twenties always saying I’ll change but never taking action. I kept making excuses for not approaching women and it was painful. There were so many opportunities that I blew just because I didn’t have the balls to walk up to her and say, “Hi”

Do you have any idea how many times there was a cute girl that even gave me indicators of interest (IOI’s) and I still fucked that up? I was a total loser with women and after a while that sense of low self esteem really began to rot my mind.

It took my literally years to overcome my depression and change my outlook on life and relationships. I started to come out of my shell and I soon began to notice that when I was out there partying and I was having a good time women were paying attention. They got a little closer and friendlier, I responded back with my new look, some witty humor and my confidence began to radiate and shine.

When you finally decide that you want to change your life for the better and really improve your social skills with women it will automatically come to you like a thief in the night. Once you let go of all your false insecurities you’ll begin to ooze confidence. Always know that women are attracted to confident alpha males. I can care less when women say “I like nice guys” or “I like blah blah blah” it’s all crap.

Those are the same women that wind up going for the alpha male or the stereotypical bad boy.

Why? An Alpha Male lives by a different set of rules and makes no apologies for it. He isn’t afraid to show his masculinity and will never allow any women to use him as a doormat. He’s not afraid to call her out on her bratty behavior when she acts out.

I’m not suggesting that you treat women like dirt. Always be respectful to chicks. All I’m saying is not to fall for her games and show her that you are the leader by taking the lead.

It all begins with you. There are no magic pick up lines that can make you irresistible to women. Sorry guys, this is the real world and it will take some work. One of the best courses in developing your inner game and becoming alpha male is from John Alexander – How to Become An Alpha Male.

This easy to read ebook has all the steps laid out and it’s an awesome manual for those looking to become alpha male. I have read this ebook several times just so I absorb all the major tips and pointers.

If you want to build a new you and experience great success with women, How to Become An Alpha Male will seriously teach you what it takes. I love this ebook for all that it has taught me and I’m sure you will walk away an improved man. Hell – if I can do it why can’t you?

From everyone here at Dating Advice Café – MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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I would like to welcome Derek Kay to Dating Advice Cafe. He’s another guy like myself who simply wants to help men out there become better with women. Here is a special guest posting with some great stuff! Enjoy the read.

Hello everyone at the Dating Advice Cafe!  Today we’re going to talk about something really important:  Being an alpha male.

For those unfamiliar with the concept of alpha versus beta behavior you can picture a pack of wolves.  We know that there are always one or two males who make pack decisions, eat more food, and get more females.  These are the alpha males.
 
The rest of the wolves?  Those are the beta males who follow the alphas and take their leftovers.  Who wants that?

Here are some of the traits of an alpha male:

• They generally talk more, and louder
• They lead the group
• Alpha males are more outgoing
• They have a more relaxed body language
• They are “cooler,” and there is a draw to talk with them.
• Alpha males seem more open, more relaxed, and less affected
• They are never needy

These are all good things.  They make you inherently more attractive not only to girls, but to everyone around you.  As if this isn’t enough proof as to the merits of being an alpha male, recall from Dre’s last post.

“they fight over something stupid she takes off in her car leaving him there by himself… It took him 2 days to get back…He came crawling back to her to say, “Sorry.”

I can’t think of more beta behavior.  Clearly this is not who we want to be as men.

So how do we go about turning ourselves from being quiet, timid and shy (beta) into the more outgoing, less needy alpha?

It’s not something you can just do all at once, but something that needs to be patterned.  Like any change, it takes time.

Start small.  The next time you’re out with friends and you realize that you haven’t said anything for awhile, speak up.  If you find you have your arms crossed making yourself look closed off and bothered, uncross them.  If you find yourself being needy around a girl, recognize what you are doing and stop it.

Think of yourself as the lead wolf or lion and you’ll soon find yourself being that person.  Or, if it helps, you can picture yourself as James Bond.

Bond is a great character because he fits our very idea of what an alpha male is.  He’s cool, calm, unaffected, and takes charge.  He has an air of mystery about him and is never needy.  He does what he wants.

And, of course, he gets the girl.

I’ve heard a lot of guys tell me, “I wish I could be like Bond, but it’s just not who I am.  I can’t change who I am.”

This idea is often supported by those around us.  We’re told all the time that “You can’t help who you are.”  While this sentiment is surely romantic, it is completely wrong.

The truth is that you can change who you are – you just have to want to.  If you want more girls, more friends, and a better life, stop being a beta nice guy and start being alpha.

If you’re unconvinced that you can make this change (and I know you can), I’ll leave you with a quote from a man who turned the world upside down:

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
-Henry Ford

Derek Kay
epicnightsblog@gmail.com
www.epicnights.net

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It seems that in today’s society nice guys have it rough. The funny thing it’s not a new occurrence, it has always been that way. How many times you heard the phrase, “Nice Guys Finish Last”? You may have friends that are ‘nice guys’ or yourself may be one.

It seems as though nice guys finish last and they usually get humiliated in the process. It’s painful to watch…hell I was that asshole nice guy and one point. Yes, I say asshole nice guy because I wasted so much of my life not willing to change my inner game.

I see it all too often. Case in point my ex-roommate (BTW this is 100% true). She has this boyfriend that to be honest didn’t have much going for him so he devoted all his time to this girl and in a short period of time I witnessed him handing all the power to my ex-roommate.

Whenever she would throw a tantrum he would immediately apologize for whatever and buy her stupid gifts (I swear I’m not making this up).

It all came to a head (at least I thought) when they planned a trip to Lake Havasu, Arizona and were supposed to have a weekend getaway. Anyway again they fight over something stupid she takes off in her car leaving him there by himself! I failed to mentioned, he left his wallet in the car.

I kid you not it took him 2 days to get back to southern California! He had to get a lift from the Arizona State Police to the border and then hitched hiked back to my place!

Now understand at this point I already heard what happened and I was thinking finally this poor guy will have had enough and that’s it……right?

Wrong.

I open the door to find him standing there begging to speak with my ex-roommate. “WTF” I said. Why are you here?

He came crawling back to her to say, “Sorry”. From then on I lost all respect for him. He truly was an emasculated loser. I was so pissed that he came back.

I will swear on a stack of Bibles that this is true and it happened. I must admit I was no pick-up artist at the time but I would have never allowed a woman to have that kind of power over me. It’s not worth it.

Here are five “nice guy” behaviors to be aware of:

1) Your happiness is dependent on the relationships with the girl you are seeing. You drop all your friends and devote all your time to that one girl.

2) Handing over all the power to women. Women in general test men to gauge his reaction. The trick not to give in. Better yet, call her out on her bratty behavior and bust her chops.

3) Acting like her emotional tampon. Why are you going to waste your time listening to her problems? Are you Dr. Phil?

4) Buying her affection with gifts and dinners. Insecure guys want to brag about how much money they make and will shower a girl with gifts and dinners. Understand that women will not respect a man who does this.

5) You lack confidence. Women want a man to take charge and be confident. As much as women want to claim that they want a sweet guy they are completely contradicting themselves because at the end of the day women are attracted to men who knows what they want and take charge with no apologies. 

Look I have been there and it took me a long time to change but I did it. It will take some work but it’s up to you. Do want to create a better life or do you want to be lonely and by yourself?

If you truly want an in depth course that will teach you how to become an Alpha Male and be “R.E.A.L.” with women then Alpha Man Immersion is the course you must get. Brought to you by Carlos Xuma…this guy knows what he’s talking about.

Why is this course different? This is a 4-Disk DVD program that you can watch anytime and see the methods put into action. I love this guy, Carlos Xuma is just a down to earth guy and knows what it takes to attract women. Click here and grab your copy.

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I want to kick the weekend off with this simple yet effective concept with you! As you may have already learned women are not attracted to men who are “weak”, “pussies” or “losers”. They are however attracted to men who display strong social skills and are secure with themselves.

They don’t ask for permission or ask her what she would rather do. He isn’t rude but confident – women are simply attracted to confident men. So how can a man take charge confidently without being rude? Start by showing a little leadership when you are with women.

For example:

Her: So where do you want t go?
You: I don’t know…..what do you want to do?

This is not good and probably one of the worst things you can do as a man. You are displaying absolutely zero confidence. The trick is to plan ahead just a little.

Her: So where do you want to go?
You: We’re going to this great little coffee shop with the best pastries near my house – you’ll love it.

That is what successful guys do. He’s never rude nor does he try to impose his will on other people. Now which would you rather be….the loser guy or the successful guy? It’s entirely up to you.

It’s so easy to take the lead with women when you are out on a date or setting up a date. All it takes is a little planning and you’ll appear to on top of your game. I personally use the “OC Weekly” to look for new music venues, night spots etc. to pick up women or to taker a girl on a date. Its super easy and really doesn’t take that much effort.

Now that you have learned this new tip, use it the next time you plan a date and take charge! Show her you are confident and secure and she’ll be more attracted to you as opposed to the loser guy that does not.

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I couldn’t ignore this story but there is a 9 year old by the name of Alec Greven who wrote a book on picking up women. Yes you read it right HE’S 9 YEARS OLD!

That was my WTF of the day.

What does he know? I mean seriously – what can this freakin kid possibly share of any significance when it comes to women?

Well a lot! This kid who is only in the 4th grade advises guys not to show off, go easy on the compliments and to avoid looking desperate.

He further writes in his book:

“It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry,” he writes in Chapter Three.

“Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil.”

“The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don’t let them get to you.” 

At the end of the day this kid is 100% on the money. It’s hilarious to read this book but he talks about what men should really do when interacting with women. I must admit I do the exact same thing what this kid wrote in this book. I’m not saying to go and buy this book but the point is if he can say “Hi” to girls…..so can you!

If this kid understands the basics what is holding you back. If you sit there and beat yourself constantly holding yourself back – then shame on you. You have no excuse to put yourself out there and get noticed.

I think Alec Greven said it best when asked; “What is the best pick up line?”

He responded, “Hi”

You just can’t make this stuff up!

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Oops! Sorry guys I forgot to mention some of the dating sites you should be taking advantage of in my last post! I have revealed all I know about online dating and what you need to do to when it comes to attracting women online.

I actually find online dating to be fun it’s perfect for anyone who is too busy with their careers or just wants to boost their numbers and get more women.

Whatever the reason I urge you to milk it for what it’s worth. Don’t let anyone put you down for using the Net to find a chick. Who gives a damn what they think – it’s your life to live and the tips I shared with you I can guarantee you will be attracting quality attractive women viewing your profile.

Here are some of my favorite dating sites worth looking at:

1. Match (membership)
2. Lava Life (membership)
3. Plenty of Fish (free)
4. Kiss Café (free)

Everyone knows Match.com they have 15 million current members and is the largest membership based dating site now in 40 countries. This is the one I recommend because it’s freaking that easy! I mean all you need to do is sign up and viola you will new meeting new women in no time. Try Match.com – 3 Days Free!

Lavalife.com is also a good one. I have spent plenty of time going through the profiles and the women are hot. They work exactly like Match.com so there is no confusion here, simply sign up and build your profile. Meet local singles at lavalife.com – It’s always FREE to reply!

Plentyoffish.com is the largest 100% online dating site. Yep, free so you don’t have to pay a dime whatsoever but there is one drawback. Since it’s free you have a lot of guys on this site and basically hitting up every girls profile. That means you have to be patient since they are being bombarded with a ton of emails.

Remember what you have learned from this blog when creating your profile and you will see way more success than the average dope emailing these women love poems.

Kisscafe.com is another totally free dating site and it’s not all bad. It’s pretty much the same as Plentyoffish.com – you can even look for free and check the profiles out.

It’s up to you….yes you! All you need to do is join and take advantage of it. Use what I taught you. It’s been working for me and I can’t complain.

I recommend you pick up the Online Game by Derek Lamont. He is the reason why I gave online dating a second chance. You see I originally tried online dating 2 years ago not knowing what I was doing. In 6 months I got 2 responses.

Fast forward to summer this year I got wind of this new eBook claiming to have the answers in attracting hot women from Match.com, MySpace.com even on FaceBook.com I decided to give it a try and it did take a little bit of effort but it worked.

Now I have hot women responding to my messages and other attractive women emailing me. You can also download a free preview – The Facebook Pickup Method.

Pick up your copy of the Online Game and you will have more dates in a short period of time. Your friends will say, “What the hell is he doing to get these hot women?”

Do you have any interesting experiences from your online dating life? Feel free and share them I want to hear any tips you have!

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Now onto the final post of the series about online dating – congratulations if you have come this far. I hope you have been using the techniques I’m sharing with you.

It has all come to this point you took the plunge and signed up for a dating service posted your profile using the steps I taught in the previous lessons. You started emailing several women you took an interest in and finally you are seeing the results.

Now it’s time to initiate the phone contact. But when and how? Both are excellent questions, the phone contact is the most nerve wracking simply because you only know them from a photo. On top of it all sending an email is no comparison than picking up the phone and chatting with a total stranger.

The number one rule is to make her comfortable. Women, especially hot women will have their “creep meter” on high and look for anything that will make them uncomfortable.

Tip: If you are the type of guy that is nervous when speaking I recommend you practice. Call up your relatives, friends whoever and practice with them. Notice how smooth the conversation flows and your tone. That’s the guy you want to be.

The best way to break the ice and make her feel comfortable is to use humor in your first phone interaction. All you have to do is be playful and not be offensive it will go a long way in leaving a positive impression with her.

Here are some topics you must avoid when striking up a conversation.

1. Politics / Religion
2. Your job or the money you make
3. Past relationships or anything negative about you

I usually will talk about my travels, what I have done and develop a story around that. I also throw in some current events from those gossip channels you see all the time. You always want to talk about something lively that will engage her. Women absolutely hate anything that’s boring that’s why witty humor and funny stories are your secret weapons so to speak with women.

Side Note: Please feel free and share your own successes with internet dating, if you have any tips or ideas even better!

The #1 guide hands down that coughs up a ton of great tips and advice about online dating is Online Pick Up Secrets. This has really been an eye opening read simply because it doesn’t use bull shit tactics but rather the art of marketing yourself online to the opposite sex.

This guide is perfect for those with busy lifestyles preventing them from going out as often as they would like or those that want to increase their dating numbers using the net.

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Okay so you have been following my online dating advice series and so far you have learned what elements must be included in your profile and most importantly how to write a profile that will attract women.

At this point you may have already spotted several women you would like to contact but you probably have no clue what to write. Here is where most men screw up the ice-breaker.

I want to share with you some simple tips on powerful online dating emails that will increase your success exponentially.

1. For your first message keep it short. Never write a long email simply because you’ll convey too much interest. You are trying to attract her not scare her off and never write your life story in your first email. I recommend keeping the email brief to no more than 4 – 6 sentences.
2. It seems obvious but don’t mention sex. Why go through all the trouble and appear like a creep? Don’t think you are showing off your sexual skills. In fact these women share these emails with their girlfriends and laugh.
3. Make the effort and actually read her profile. Find some commonalities and relate it to your experiences but never suck up to her profile. What ever you do don’t kiss her ass.
4. Never comment on her beauty and how lucky you feel to be viewing her profile. This is a horrible way to begin an email and I can guarantee you’ll never get a reply. Keep in mind that attractive woman receive so many emails from low confident men she’ll instantly delete your email.

You will be sending out a ton of emails so don’t worry if you don’t receive instant replies to your emails. These women are getting bombarded almost on a daily basis. It’s a number game keep at it and you will succeed far more than the average Joe not using these techniques.

If you want to really take advantage of online dating and get more dates with hot women I recommend you download the, “Online Game by Derek Lamont”. This guy knows how to attract women on Match, MySpace, Facebook etc….  Best of all it comes loaded with email samples and some clever tips to reel them in.

He truly knows his stuff when it comes to online dating and I personally can vouch for its effectiveness. I remember when I first started using AOL Personals my profile and emails suck ass! Guess what? I got no replies and no dates.

I wish I had these online pick up secrets 7 years ago – I would have cleaned house!

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