Yep that dreaded feeling that seems to overcome your mind and body when the idea comes to actually approach a girl you are attracted to. It happens to all of us at one point or for some of us all the time.

So what is it……Nervousness.

It’s a perfectly natural feeling so don’t feel you are being punished. All men go through this. The main reason is because subconsciously you are afraid of how you will look if you are rejected. Let’s face it you don’t want to be rejected in front of your friends and have them laugh at your failure.

Am I right? I went through the exact same thing. The problem is that nervousness doesn’t just go away. To beat approach anxiety you must change what your focus is at that moment.

For example in my early days I would worry on how she would reject me. Right off the bat I already was thinking defeat and rejection. What possible good outcome could I expect? Absolutely none.

I switched my focus by picturing in my minds eye that whomever I wound up approaching she would be totally into me and the two of us having a great time.

To get over the initial nervous feeling I would simply take a deep breath and just do it. I would stop worrying about what could happen and focused on a positive outcome.

Anxiety is your nervousness on steroids – management is key to making it go away. Adopting a breathing exercise and changing your focus are your weapons against approach anxiety.

For you guys that are painfully shy you’ll need to start somewhere and I highly suggest making a one-month commitment to actually go out 3-4 nights out of the week to a restaurant, bar or café and be with other people. I’m not suggesting you pick someone up every night. BUT get into the habit of putting yourself out there.

Make this a habit so you can get over your shyness – make this a ritual and start talking to people you will soon overcome your approach anxiety as well.

I just had t share this photo with you all. Here was my WTF moment of the day (with a tattoo like that you know she’s easy )

Mom must be so proud……

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Sorry guys for not having posted this sooner, my internet connection was out yesterday. I love when you are doing something important online and the internet connection decides to take a poop!

I want to talk to you guys about a big problem a lot of you are facing. Comparing yourself to other people with the idea you will be happier or more successful.

 Is there a friend in particular you envy wishing you were just like him? Is it because he seems to be a total natural with women and he gets all the attention when you go out? Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to him? Are you always trying to catch up to your friends in what they do?

STOP IT!!

Stop paying attention to what other people are doing it’s flat out destructive to your self confidence. All you wind up doing is getting caught in that rat race and you’ll never be satisfied.

Focus on what makes you happy and be your own man. There is nothing worse than being a carbon copy of someone else. Be a leader and not a follower – women will respect your more for your independence.

That’s all for now until then, be yourself and learn to let go of all the negative thoughts that tell you “She’ll never like you”. Remember what I taught in my previous post. Take a step back and literally talk trash to that negative inner voice and wipe it from your mind. Get into the habit of positive thinking.

Yeah I know it sounds like psycho-babble but think about it for a second. Those guys that are successful with women almost all have a positive outlook on life in general. Women pick up on that and that’s the “sexy vibe” women feel.

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Before we break into the weekend I want all you guys that keep making excuses to LET IT GO! If you want to change and get better with women you must let go of all the bullcrap negative emotions that is holding you back.

Keep in mind one thing, all that negative talk you mind isn’t real. Even though you give into it – you only give those negative thoughts power by believing it!

So what is the cure handling those negative thoughts?

Take a step back and literally make fun of those thoughts in your head. Yep – you heard right when those negative thoughts begin to invade your mind, start trash talking your negative thoughts. Those thoughts aren’t real. She won’t run away when you approach her and no she won’t laugh at you.

Whatever reason you are using to stay home play video games or surf the net – let it go. I mean it. Get out there and make the commitment and meet people. Use your frustration in not meeting women by turning that energy and doing something about it.

You must take action if you choose to change your life. I can care less if I sound like Tony Robbins but its true, change is what will improve your life.

In the meantime enjoy this video:

What an awesome first date he would have made!

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I want to share with you a hilarious story that took place a little wile ago to a friend who was on Match. He was scoping out some of the profiles of cute chicks local to him and decides to ‘wink’ at one of them.

She responds with a ‘wink’ back and he sends his intro email. They shortly begin to talk on the phone and he sets up a date.

All sounds good do far, right?

In his words she was by no mean that cute skinny chick he thought he saw in that photo. In fact she was in his estimates 40 pounds heavier in real life!

Now this can happen to anyone man or women it doesn’t matter. However we are going to discuss taking precautions for you men when you are online checking out dating profiles.

Here are some types of photos to be on alert for:

- Is the photo a close up shot of her face only? If all her photos are head shots be on the “fatty” alert.
- If the photo looks like a professionally shot photograph in black and white.
- Carefully look at her arms in the photo. Do they look thick? Examine her features for signs of plumpness.
- Extra caution for photos that looks like it belongs to a model. That’s just a way for spammers to get to your email.

Look I’m trying to be an ass here but if you are looking for a body type that is slim and slender why settle for someone who’s not what they represent?

There are certain rules in online dating, the 1st being cautious. Don’t be afraid to ask for more photos if her profile only has one or two. In fact demand that you see more photos before a face to face meeting.

“Hey I was wondering if you have any more photos of yourself you can email me, just checking to see you aren’t a two headed Brontosaurus ”

Just keep it light and funny and even send her some additional photos of yourself. If for any reason you aren’t satisfied with her online photos ask for more. If she refuses move one you’ll be great full you did. Take control and end the injustice!

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I hope all had a great Valentines Day. I personally visited my ex-roommate whom I haven’t seen in months and I was able to hook up with one of her friends at the party. I love hooking up within my social circle….it’s the easiest pick up!

Okay fast forward to Sunday afternoon I’m at a friends house and she was on the laptop checking her online dating account looking at some guys. I took interest in what she was looking for in a guy and also used it to see what these guys were writing for their profiles.

Profile aside I was shaking my head at some really bad user names. I kid you not these are real.

Drum roll please……

• ttbull3 – what does it mean?
• MarcAndersonHB – avoid giving your full name off the bat. On top of that this guy is in California and the “HB” stands for Huntington Beach. Now I know where he lives. This is a double no-no.
• GucciGuy – really? Now you are basically putting off the impression you are all about fashion and spending $$$ on cloths. You will attract the wrong kind of girl.
• betterbod4you – now this guy was lifting up his shirt in the photo. Wow!
• Just_Mr_Nice_Guy – not good at all. Remember women don’t respect nice guys.
• NoFatChicksPlz – okay I struggled with this one. This was hilarious and I just had to ROLF for several minutes. But women in general will probably find this offensive.

After reading user names I had to wonder what they hell were they thinking. I understand that coming up with a user name isn’t easy and it seems that all the good ones are taken but take the time to be original. Online dating is a goldmine when done correctly.

Now lets take a look at some of the good ones I saw.

• Newport_Dingo – awesome. It’s funny, edgy, ballsy did I mention funny?
• Kris_Adventure – it’s okay to give your name but make it count. This guy enjoys the outdoors.
• Stevesnowboards – this dude likes to snowboard not a boring guy
• MaloPablo – again this guy is a little edgy by adding “malo” before his name.

There is a drastic difference in these user names. These guys took the time to incorporate personality into their usernames which is what women want. It is no different in the offline world.

The definitive source when it comes to online dating is Derek Lamont’s, Online Pick Up Secrets. This guy has a full proof system for attracting women online using AOL, Yahoo Personals, Match even Facebook and MySpace.

Not convinced? Download this free preview report “The Facebook Pick Up Method”. Hey you got nothing to lose just read for yourself.

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Thanks for coming back! I hope you liked the last post on this interesting topic of how to talk to women and instantly attract them. If you recall we last talked about the “push and pull” method.

Basically it involves you flirting with her showing a little interest here and there and then playfully teasing her. Mark my words when I say it drives women nuts! You are challenging them and being fun at the same time. She thinks you might be attracted to her, but isn’t quite sure.

Can you see now just how powerful this is?

I know what you are thinking, “I was raised to be a good a good boy.” That’s all fine and dandy but the real world is different. To attract a girl you just at times have to tease and challenge her.

Keep in mind when you are talking to women that it’s not just about asking her questions. In fact stories make up a huge part of the attraction process.

In the past several years I have traveled to France, Spain, Germany, Czech Republic and most recently Cabo San Lucas. I have a ton of stories to draw from and experiences I don’t mind sharing with people. Women in particular love travel. A man that can tell stories of his travels and display he has culture is a man that will have her attention.

Draw from your experiences and take control of the conversation and take it to where you want it to go.

All this push and pull, flirting and telling stories is aimed and one thing, to separate you from every other boring guy in that particular social setting. You want to be interesting and this is your shot at making a good first impression. Most guys talk about boring stuff with women and never connect with them on an emotional level – remember women are emotional communicators and to be successful with women you must appeal to them on an emotional level.

In case you are looking to better understand and master the art of flirting the best resource to come out is a brand new eBook from Steve Scott. His book, “Flirt Mastery: How to Flirt and Create Hypnotic Conversations with Women” is hands down the best flirting guide on the market.

There are no canned lines or bull crap on top of bull crap routines. Steve just basically breaks down how women want to need to be communicated to in order to create attraction. The end result is a very natural way of communicating with women. A great read!

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Talking to women for many guy is challenging and for the shy guy that doesn’t have much experience it can be hell. We find excuses at the last very second to not walk up to her and say “Hi”. You freeze up not knowing what to say because you are thinking way too hard of something clever to say.

The ingredient missing from your repertoire is Flirting.

Flirting is noting more than the stealthful way of showing a woman you are interested. You don’t want to come off way too strong or especially like some cocky prick. Come off too strong you will scare her away and being the cocky asshole/jerk you will never attract a quality woman. She’ll see right through you and drop you right there.

No one likes that cocky guy who brags about his awesome car his bank account and the fact he makes $20k a month. That displays weakness because he thinks the only way to get a woman is to show off with money and things. Guys like that always get taken for half at the divorce table.

Sorry for going off a tangent here – back to the art of flirting. It’s no secret that men and women communicate very differently. Women can ramble for hours about who knows what and are naturals at communication. Men on the other hand are problem solvers and look for solutions. Our brains seem to be hardwired to this kind of interaction perhaps it’s leftover from our ancestors’ development millions of years ago.

Here lies the problem with this hardwiring and societies rules of courtship it’s up to us guys to make the approach. Men approach communication differently causing at least for a lot of us painful rejections from women. The major reason is that we fail to tap into the emotional state she is feeling. What do we do? She begins to talk about her feeling and we respond with advice.

That’s not what they want to hear – now it is not the time to tell her what to do.

In fact the conversation you should be having with her involves the “push and pull” method.

To be continued………

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Lets face the facts here have you ever settled for a woman that was well lets just say fell off every branch of the ugly tree because you though that’s all you could get? When it comes to dating, “having standards” is a powerful trait you can have.

By no means do I suggest that you all of the sudden only date super models or a “10″. You will fall into the trap of then being too intimidated to approach a really beautiful woman. What I want to get across is that you as a man not settle because you think an attractive girl will not give you a chance.

Another self limiting trait holding you back is sticking with the same women even in a bad relationship. You simply have no strength or desire to get out and explore your options with other women.

That my friend is low-self esteem. The hell with that!

The bottom line is that you fear rejection and it’s probably rooted in the fact you perhaps lack experience. I was that guy as well BUT I choose to do something about it.

The fix here is to open yourself up to the dating scene and dive right in. That’s right – DIVE RIGHT IN! If you have been reading this blog and say what a great idea or but never use it, what is the point?

I’m serious why even read my blog? Don’t visit my blog and ignore the post – use it for crying out load!

Its okay to admit that your inner game is weak but you need to make the effort and change your life. After all you only have one shot. I was able to do it and believe me I had some major personal issues to overcome.

If this post sounds like a rant too bad! I want to see more and more guys not continue down the very same path I did.

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Okay I’m going to further drive home with you what really matters to women (yes even hot women) when it comes to attraction.

I recently picked up an issue of Men’s Magazine with an interview of “Dirty Sexy Money” star Zoe Mclellan. She was asked which characteristics she found sexiest in a man.

Drum roll please……

• No stalker exes
• Has manners
• Loves Sex
• Owns a toolbox
• Has muscles
• Savors food
• Good dancer
• ‘Deal breaker’ – an idiotic wingman

And what was her #1 sexiest characteristic in any man? Self Confidence.

Okay so she said she likes guys with muscles and who can dance BUT when it comes right down to it she flat out said that confidence is the sexiest trait any man can have.

She said nothing about male model looks, money, status or anything superficial. Guys most women out there want a man to have the self confidence to walk up to them and talk to them. That’s it – the only thing preventing that is you.

Whatever ridiculous excuse you give yourself to not approach women or for that matter to go out with friends. WAKE UP – you’re being a fool. Learn from my errors and let it go, it’s not worth being by yourself.

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P.S. I’d like to hear from you! If you have any questions or suggestions on what you’d like to know & learn share your thoughts and I will include them in our next post. Also I’d like to hear about your success stories and comments. Just click below…

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Today I want to quickly cover a trap I see a lot of guys falling into when using humor to attract women.

Don’t get me wrong here, humor is probably the best method to attract women but there is a limit to the humor you should employ. Specifically acting like a clown or buffoon. That guy absolutely must the center of attention by acting hyper and crazy.

We all have friends like that and you wonder what they hell they’re doing half the time. These are the guys that come off as if they are trying too hard and that’s exactly how women see them as well. They are always looking to prove themselves no matter what and desperately want to be liked. Problem is that they come off as desperate.

You may also fall into the category of being “that guy” with people laughing at you. This is not the place where you wan to be no one will take you serious.

Then we got the guy that uses humor to abuse other people. There isn’t anything wrong with breaking chops – all guys do it. What I’m talking about is the guy that humiliates someone just so he can look cool. This clearly is abusing humor at some else’s expense due to some deep physiological issues of rejection he may feel so he must destroy someone else to feel good.

This isn’t alpha male behavior….not by a long shot! This is the most pathetic type of man around – there is absolutely nothing to envy about this guy.

The best method I’ve used to attract women with humor was to playfully tease her. You don’t have to be a jerk to attract women. In fact in the long run being the jerk will backfire and you will never wind up with the quality woman you want.

So what methods do you use to attract women?

I’d like to hear from you! If you have any tips on using humor to attract women share them on this blog.

Until then just take note when making women laugh, challenge her and playfully teasing her. You will stand out from the crowd and quickly gain her attention.

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