Call it what you will “friends with benefits” or just plain “fuck buddies” every guy  out there seems to think it’s the greatest thing and for women no strings attached.

Sure it may seem that way but much sooner than later it will boil down to one partner wanting more. It almost always comes down to the man or women having feelings for the other but it’s not reciprocated.

Sure the upside is that you are getting laid but on the down side she may be drawn to you wanting to introduce you to her circle of friends. Even worse it’s you that may want more in the relationship.

It’s a very human reaction to have with all the laughing, talking and the most importantly sex – feelings will inevitably begin to brew.

Friends with benefits doesn’t really stay that way in the long run, besides you should be out there dating more women then relying on one chick to give you sex when you want it.

Anyway that’s what I think…. if any of you have stories of your “friends with benefits” please share them.

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I received an email yesterday from a blog reader wanting some clarification on creating an action plan. It’s real no big secret here what’s so ever – in fact much of this comes from famed life coach Tony Robbins. Yep the tall guy with the big teeth.

The concept revolves around the idea that you want to improve an area in your life – here lets say you want to meet your women and overcome your anxiety. For one month you will lay out an action plan and walk up to random women anywhere and start small conversations.

It can be as simple as “Hi” or asking for directions or asking which is the better brand in the super market.

In about 1 month with that constant exposure you are retraining your brain to NOT be afraid when approaching women. These little successes are building up your confidence and soon enough you will be able to approach women with more ease than before.

However here is the problem. The key word is action. You must actually take action and do it. Just accept the fact that it’s up to us guys to make the first move. Women in general don’t walk up to men and start spitting out game.

Don’t be angry and blame women (only pussies do that) just accept it – develop up your action and your love life will improve in less that 30 days.

>>If any of you guys have particular tips or tricks you use to eliminate approach anxiety – please share with us!!!

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I want to take a minute and talk to you guys that are dating eBook junkies that buy every course out there on dating and then do nothing with it. I was one of those dummies that would buy a book, read what I was doing wrong, agree with the author and do nothing.

Let’s face it there is no substitute then actually getting out there and put to practice what you learn. Sure you may stumble a bit but what do you expect?

There are no magic words or pills that will make you instantly attractive. It’s a total waste of your time to accumulate all this knowledge and not use it.

You can read and listen to all the dating material you want but it will not do a thing to your game unless you go out and practice! Generally speaking your biggest fear is the blow to your ego if she rejects you. The fear is there because you probably don’t have a lot of experience so your skills are weak.

All guys start out that way! Leave your fears behind you and start living life.

Here is a quick tip in meeting and dating more women:

• Create an action plan
• Improve your game
• Improve your outward appearance

Creating an action plan – entails you goal setting and I highly recommend that you start small with the goal. Simply put if the goal is to get on Match.com and set up your online dating profile – then do it. Also 3-4 days out of the week search the profiles and contact women you want to meet.

If you are really shy your goal should be to get out of the house. Perhaps eat out 3 nights a week. Do it enough times until you are comfortable around women.

Improve your game – with all these eBooks you’ve downloaded use them! Start to really absorb what they are teaching. My personal favorite is Flirt Mastery which incredible resource for men.

Improve your outward appearance – is basically hitting the gym, updating your wardrobe, and maybe changing your haircut. This is the easy part and you don’t have to spend a lot of money to pull it off. A word about changing your look – I’m no fan of peacocking. Personally I think it’s a waste of time just ask yourself; are you remaining true to yourself by doing so?

This is all meant to give you little successes along the way and boost your self confidence. This gradual build up of your self confidence will develop into a very strong inner game and powerful self esteem.

Is it difficult? YES it is because that voice in your head says you are a loser. But remember one thing – that voice is all in your head and it’s a lie. It’s you that will make it true if you agree with it.

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There are tons of eBooks out there that are great for teaching men in reinforcing their inner game or getting better with women BUT there are also other dating authors that are giving advice on cheating.

In particular “how to steal your friends girl”. I hate to say it but one of my favorite dating authors with a great eBook has this guide as a bonus. I’m not saying that his eBook sucks – on the contrary it’s great. The bonus report however I felt was unethical.

First off why do you want to cheat on your friend’s girlfriend? Why be that guy in the middle? They almost always turn out bad and you lose the most. Sure you may get the girl and get laid but now you lost a friend.

Was it worth it?

If you answered “yes” – then you are not a true alpha male. If your happiness / self worth relies on getting that particular chick you are giving her an awful lot of power. Not to mention you are now a Judas to your friend.

Even more why put yourself in a position that can be dangerous and cause you harm? How – like your friend beating your ass senseless!

If your friend is dating a really hot chick and you like her – get over it. Don’t be that guy who’s going to steal her away. If however she is not exclusive with anyone then she’s fair game and go for it! I have no problem if your eyes are set with a girl who’s dating and you want her for yourself.

Of course this is my opinion and I’ll have many who will disagree, personally I can care less. If I have a good friendship going then keep it why kill that over a girl?

With that said now brings the obvious question – what if she’s with some dude you don’t know? Well my friend that’s entirely up to you. All you need to do is ask yourself is she worth it?

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I recently had the chance to review a dating course by Dean Cortez and well know dating expert and pick up artist on his Secrets to Dating Younger Women. I must admit I found myself laughing at the whole thing.

I laughed at how much sense it made and how off I was at least in my perception of dating younger women. You see I’m 33 years old and I was born lucky in the fact that I look young for my age. However at the same time I felt that I was mature to date within my own age group.

There is nothing wrong with that but there are so many twenty something year old women that I was ignoring. I thought what would a 21 year old want to do with me? Besides she’s too young and I already have 10 years or more on her.

I already defeated myself with that thought when it’s total bullshit. You can date a girl 10 years even 20 years younger it’s just a matter of tweaking your game.

Look I’m not going to lie and say Dean Cortez is a close friend of mine and we hang and pick up women for shits and giggles. I never met him but I will say his course Secrets to Dating Younger Women is solid. I would recommend this course for any guy looking to date younger women and wants to overcome the “issues” you may have in doing so.

Funny thing is that nearly all those “issues” are all manufactured in your head. What I like about the course it’s basically step-by-step action plan for meeting and dating young women.

Now I’ll be the first to say this course isn’t for everyone. There are guys out there that want to date women their own age and not deal with some chick on MySpace all the time – there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if you are a thirty, forty even fifty something that wants to meet younger women then Secrets to Dating Younger Women is the course for you. I really haven’t seen anything else like it.

Go ahead and click the link to check the course out (the bonuses are fantastic) and download Secrets to Dating Younger Women.

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I don’t know what your plans will be this weekend but I do have one for you guys hitting clubs or any bar with a dance floor.

First off don’t be afraid to hit the dance floor!! No one is going to look at you and critique your moves trust me – no one gives a damn. Secondly don’t be that tool lurking around staring at the chick you want to speak to. She or her friends will notice you and you will look weird. Lastly take action!

Okay suppose you are in a bar club scan the bar and look for single women you want to chat up – just make sure they aren’t there with their boyfriends. If she is all cozy and obviously showing affection don’t try to open her.

Now comes the situation in the bar or club with women dancing. What is the best approach in this situation? Challenge her on the dance floor.

For starters you can gently bump her (without making it too obvious) and twirl her around. This simple move will up the fun level and make you look like the “fun guy”. If you can dance then challenge her with a dance move.

I have a buddy of mine that does it all the time and is always able to engage her in conversation afterward.

I myself used the twirling method a few nights ago and it worked – I saw with her girlfriend having fun, she looked open to it so I just did it.

This weekend when you are out don’t think too hard about it – Just do it. Walk into that club / bar with the attitude that every girl in there wants to be with you. Believe that you are the guy they have been waiting for, never go into a bar/club with the mindset you are a loser.

Hot Tip: If you have the opportunity to hang out with a couple of female friends then do it. Simply walk into the bar/club with both of them on each side and BINGO – instant social value.

I pulled off this simple little trick when I was hanging out in Pasadena, CA with two hot young women and I got nothing but looks from other women.

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Okay how about a little fun here with finding the perfect girlfriend! Sheeez – am I asking for too much here?

 
Too bad they can’t be all like this

Okay back to the real world and NO Jim Beam won’t get you this kind of women no matter how hard you try or bottles you drink! The only solution is to get out there and practice. Sure you have some rejection but you’ll also have successes.

It’s those successes that will enable you to build your confidence up at the same time refining your ‘pick up’ skills.

Get out there and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!!

Have fun fellas…

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The more I go out with friends especially in the thirty something age group I see a common theme in guys that are – let’s just say jaded.

I remember I was in Vegas and a group of us were all hanging out and one of my buddies excused himself for a second to call his girlfriend. We continue having a good time a few minutes later my buddy comes back upset. Naturally I asked him what’s the deal and I can remember him telling me, “I’m sick of all these women expecting me to be perfect.”

I seriously doubt it her with the expectations. You are the one with all these ‘expectations’ you think women have of you to be perfect which really isn’t the case. In fact when it comes to dating women are pretty forgiving, I’m not suggesting you become a total slob and let yourself go. However you don’t need washboard abs, neither drive a Ferrari nor make a million bucks a year.

Women look at men totally differently when it comes to attraction. In fact women can spot a man from a mile away on how he carries himself. Call it self confidence or whatever “he just has it” as women say.

In short “he just has it” simply means that a man holds his head high with a smile on his face all the while he is self assured about himself. He doesn’t stress himself out on what he thinks his girlfriend is expecting of him. What women really find sexy in men is:

• humor
• self assurance.

As you can imagine I felt bad for my friend that night in Vegas because held these false beliefs for a long time. After awhile he just became jaded and bitter when it was in his head the entire time!

I mean he manufactured in his own head what he thought women’s expectations were.

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I hope everyone’s Easter Weekend was great and the time spent with your families was fulfilling. Alright back to boosting your dating numbers – I want to talk about a quick little tip you can add to your online dating profile that will grab women’s attention.

Humor!

See it’s not enough to say, “I have a great sense of humor“ in your profile. You also need to demonstrate it as well. The perfect opportunity is to have something witty for your headline or even your user name.

Probably one of the best user names I’ve come across was Newport_Dingo (if you’re from Newport Beach, CA you’ll get the joke.)

Sure it will take some creative thinking on your part but don’t think it’s a total necessity you also have your profile you can inject some humor as well. Never, never, never, never allow that humor to be self-deprecating. That’s just lame and pathetic you are an alpha male don’t forget it.

Remember every other schmo has “I have a great sense of humor” in their profile – be the man to actually demonstrate your skills and separate yourself from the rest of the pack.

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Okay Romeo you have your online dating profile and your emailing out these women a strong message to gain their attention and separating yourself from the pack. Now what?

The goal of the 2nd email contact is for you to get her phone number. However if you are using Facebook or even MySpace that isn’t going to work so well – remember online dating sites women are looking for a date. On these social networking sites they aren’t expecting you to pick them up at all. Point here is to take it a little slower on Facebook.

The ideal situation is your target emailing you her phone number after your second email but don’t roll your eyes if she just sends you her email address. Listen she is still wanting you to contact her so play it cool and you are guaranteed a 1st date!

While you are crafting your email you still want to avoid:

1. Putting your self down / making fun of yourself
2. Sexual innuendo
3. Seeking approval

You must be confident throughout the whole process and adopt the mindset that she is lucky that you are emailing her. You are the man and she will be a lucky gal as soon as she enters your life.

You are not being a self centered prick you are re-building your low self-esteem into a more powerful self confident man. In my opinion you only become that prick when you start bragging to the whole world.

If you are emailing back and forth and you have reached the goal of securing the first date always play it that you have a tight schedule. You look like a guy who is demand and not some loser guy with all the time in the world.

Don’t be discouraged if you are not getting as many responses as you would like – look these women are being bombarded on a daily basis. I would set up 3 days out of the week where you log on and scan the profiles and email the ones you want to meet. Then wait a few days for their response.

Remember dating is a numbers game – the same holds true for online dating as well.

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