I’m writing today to help you guys out there struggling with “what it takes” to attract the kind of women in your life. Simply put being the person you need to be and attract the girl you want.

I see an awful lot of bullshit behavior by guys that translates to phoniness. Trying to be something that you’re not and in many cases making a complete ass out of themselves. It’s almost like watching a sad episode of “Tool Academy”. The douchebags on that show are nothing but a bunch of living breathing jokes.

1st thing is to Live Your Life. I’m a firm believer in doing the things you love. That includes work life as well. I have too many friends that work in high paying but shitty jobs, working too many hours and not enjoying life.

What’s the point? Okay you’re making bank but you hate your job and sick of the everyday 9 to 5. Sorry bro – that’s not for me.

Do the best in finding work in a field you love – trust me you’ll find more happiness in doing so.

Follow your passions in life is the lesson here! Tony Robbins talks about this all the time and he’s right on the money.

Also you need to have hobbies (sorry but video games don’t count). Hobbies give you something to do and also help you grow. I myself recently bought a guitar and plan on taking lessons. I love music but I never learned to play an instrument – now I’m changing that.

By focusing on what you love to do you will naturally attract like minded people especially women. Women want a man that has direction in life and is chasing it.

***Sidebar***
If you really want ADVANCED information on flirting with women then I recommend you take a look at Flirt Mastery by Steve Scott. This site covers all you need to know about flirting with women.

===> http://www.datingadvicecafe.com/course/flirtmastery.htm
*** End Sidebar***

2nd thing is to Grow & Maintain Your Social Circle. In so many words go out there and make friends. Also maintain the friendships you have. How many times have you said of an old friend – “Oh we just drifted apart”.

Is that an excuse? If your friends move away swap telephone numbers and add them to your Facebook page. Keep in touch and also it’s never too old to make friends.

Having a healthy social circle is great for your life and women pay attention to that. A woman will not want to date a guy with no friends.

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I just finished chatting with Rachel of Cougared.com – Yes a site dedicated to cougars. Now at first I wanted to blow this off but I have to admit a survey of Cougars caught my attention.

Here you go Cougar and MILF Hunters all you wanted to know about Cougars – enjoy!!

Los Angeles, CA
Sept 03, 2009

Older women reject sugar mama stereotype and rewrite rules on cougar dating

A host of popular myths about cougars – older women who exclusively date younger men – have been exposed in a ground-breaking survey by dating website Cougared.com.

A poll of more than 100 self-proclaimed “cougars” has revealed that the clichéd image of the older woman who prowls hotel bars and nightclubs for younger men represents a small minority in 2009.

According to the Cougar Report, the ‘New Cougars’ have moved on from the trendy bar-hopping ways of Samantha from ‘Sex and the City or man-eating Stifler’s mom from ‘American Pie’.

Rather than a night out at a glitzy cocktail bar or nightclub, the research revealed that the ideal date for a modern cougar woman is actually a cosy local restaurant or a home cooked meal; emphasizing a strong desire for romance as well as ‘no strings fun’.

And younger men who are looking for a sugar mama better not go “cougar hunting” because it turns out that most cougars either let the man pay for dinner or insist on splitting the check; perhaps a handy way to filter out the gold diggers and ‘players’.

Some key findings from the Cougar Report 2009:

• 52% of cougars are in their 40s, and their ideal younger man is aged 24-27
• 76% of cougars are either divorced or separated
• 44% of older women were kept secret from their younger man’s family
• 45% are ‘lifestyle cougars’, having dated more than five younger men

The research also discovered why older men are no longer attractive to cougars – and guess what? It’s not the beer belly that really puts them off, it’s a jaded attitude and emotional baggage. It seems that younger men are offering the New Cougars a way to recapture their carefree youth.

What’s more, far from simply seeking a casual encounter, the vast majority of modern cougar women are seeking a longer term relationship with a younger man – possibly inspired by the example of celebrity couple Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

Oliver Jameson, founder of dating site Cougared.com explained why they created the Cougar Report said:

“There are a lot of myths around about cougar women and their attitudes to men and dating. One interesting aspect of this research is the discovery that women may be comfortable with the term cougar but they are also redefining it.

“Just because they are older and may have more cash that the guy they are dating, new cougar women are demanding that men pay their way and treat them with the same degree of courtesy and chivalry that younger ladies would expect.

“At Cougared.com, we felt it was about time someone got to the truth so that older women who date younger men are more accurately represented. Hopefully it will also help the guys get a better understanding of how to relate to them.”

For the full details of the Cougar Report, visit the website at
http://www.cougared.com/report

Notes:

- Cougared.com is a 100% free dating website exclusively for older women and younger men. The site was founded in October 2007 and has in excess of 24,000 members.

- The Cougar Report survey was an invite-only poll conducted online of more than 100 women predominantly aged 35 to 60 who stated that they only or mainly date significantly younger men.

For more information on the Cougar Report or Cougared.com, please contact Oliver Jameson at oliver@cougared.com or +44 7813 062 231.

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I want to talk about something I see a lot of men suffering from. A condition afflicting many men in the US particularly in large urban areas. For any normal man who have self-confidence and avoid trying to be someone else usually look in disdain and laughter.

So what is exactly a DB? Simply put it’s a douchebag. Yep the douchebag has been gaining ground and more and more men are falling victim to this horrible condition.

If you’re from Southern California in the Newport Beach / Huntington Beach area you know and seen the type: the tattooed tough guy wearing his Ed Hardy or Affliction t-shirt thinking he’s Tito Ortiz looking to fight someone way smaller than he is.

Let’s examine the photo below for a more detailed look on what the typical douchebag looks like.

Are you one of these men? Be honest with yourself…..are you really?

Okay as you can see I was having fun and today I feel like venting – these guys are hilarious to watch. I’ve seen guys that will adopt this attitude and look just so they will attract girls.

Look I will be the 1st to say I’m all for self improvement but NEVER PRETEND to be something that you are not. Seriously don’t be that guy!

Strength comes from within and not from an image or looking like someone else to fit in. That is weak sauce – lesson here is to be your own man.

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 I want to pick up from my post Pickup Is Getting Really Overrated, from early this week and share with you what I think are some of the better dating guides to follow and who to trust.

It seems that there are way too many people simply jumping in on the band wagon and putting out a seduction ebook. I’ve read many of these and to put it bluntly most suck donkey balls. You can almost see how most of these gurus are just savvy marketers looking to cash in.

Here is my list of the top 5 relationship experts:
Carlos Xuma – very down to Earth and knows women
Scot McKay - X & Y Communications
Paul Janka – incredible day game expert
Steve Scott - a natural born flirt
Joseph Matthews – Art of approaching very good beginner course

Again this is my list and the only guys that I would subscribe or consider buying anything from. The rest out there is nothing more than re-hashed material. 

Of the list if you want a complete source of how to guides with women then Carlos Xuma is probably the best (especially for inner game and confidence).

One of my new favorites is Paul Janka – his day game technique is simple and awesome. There are no stupid magic tricks, made up stories or bull shit. He is simply being straight forward and in 30 seconds getting a chick to meet him for coffee. Dr. Phil even interviewed his ass!

Why did I choose these 5? From what I’ve seen they consistently deliver on their product(s) and they know what they are talking about when it comes to dating and women. The rest seems to borrow from them and put out “new” material.

I hope this short list helps and remember the whole goal in pick up is to develop your own style. Don’t try to memorize every word these gurus say.  Just understand the basics and the main idea and develop on that and make it your own.

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Here is a lesson I learned some time ago so I thought I share my experiences with you. This can also apply to all the women readers of this blog as well.

Choosing the right women to date and be involved with seems like a daunting task but in reality it doesn’t have to be. Here is a lesson I want you to learn:

My story…
A few years ago I was working at an office with this Filipino chick who stood about 5’8 with a big fake tits and a curvy ass. Of course I thought she was hot so I took an interest but I was thinking more with my junk and not my brain.

Anyway I’m dating this chick and I begin to learn she had a rotten relationship with both her mom and stepdad and hated being around them. That’s a big red flag. Even though she had a rockin body she was still insecure and preferred to have sex with lights out.

A couple of months roll by and her behavior got worse I was calling her out but by then I truthfully wanted to part with her.

The moral of the story avoid women with low self-esteem. Steer Clear From This Type Of Woman!

***Sidebar***

If you really want ADVANCED information on flirting with women then I recommend you take a look at Flirt Mastery by Steve Scott. This site covers all you need to know about flirting with women.

===> http://www.datingadvicecafe.com/course/flirtmastery.htm

*** End Sidebar***

That’s basically it! It sounds so simple but so many guys fall for the “damn she’s hot” trap. If you are dating a women and she’s hot it is easy to ask about her family life – that you can discover by simply observing.

I committed the #1 error made by men: concentrating too hard on her looks.

In the case of my ex she had no father to speak of and hated her step-father. So right off the bat she does have some underlying issues with men. All that does is translate into low self-esteem.

For those in your twenties you probably are thinking about simply “hooking up” with as many women as possible. That’s okay but just avoid the following situations:

1. Falling in love with your first girlfriend and marrying her
2. Getting her pregnant (that’s an 18 year sentence)

Personally I’m in a time in my life where I want to find a special woman to settle down with and get married. I have some minor criteria that I’m unwilling to let go for instance:

• She must be close with both her mom and her dad.
• Have a strong faith in God
• She also needs to have an education
• Shows respect to others around her

I don’t think I’m asking for a whole lot here with this short list. Those are my core values and I want that in my partner as well.

Call me crazy!

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Even though this blog is dedicated to helping men with picking up women I’m seeing an awful lot of crap flooding the net that is nothing more than a rip off of another product.

On top of that there is also new pick up material hitting the net everyday and the latest “buzz” in pick up was a whole thing on magic tricks!

My first reaction was – “Holy shitballs we have now come to magic tricks”.

That is what prompted me to write this post to warn you on all the crap being posted on the net. The truth is there is only a handful of PUA’s that really know what they are talking about and are real. 

The truth is there is too much material on the net and simply said there are way too many guys that want to become the next dating guru. Its as if when the show,  “The Pickup Artist” hit the small screen everyone and their mother decided they can be just like him and become famous.

As I have stated before I’m here to compile my experiences and observations and share with you on this blog what I’ve learned. What I will not do is push every crap product I find on the net and call it the best thing to hit the pick up arena.

What ever you do don’t get discouraged or lost as to which ebook to read or which DVD set to watch. I’m committed to bring together only the best material (I actually purchased what I reviewed) and share with you their strengths and weaknesses. 

Later this week I will compile of list dating experts that I feel are worth following. In addition I will also compile a list of my favorite ebooks and DVD dating tools you should be reviewing. The rest simply is garbage to avoid.

Until then keep on keepin on!

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I’ve been seeing something in men that makes them quiver at the sight of any remotely hot woman – the old “forget it she’s just out of my league” statement.

I’m here to say it’s a bunch of bullshit!

For starters this mentality will result in failure 100% of the time. Why are you going to count yourself out even before the bell rings? All this does is add to your dating frustration and contribute to a negative / jaded outlook.

You must see yourself as the prize no matter what and to be frank not give a FUCK what other people think – least of all what she thinks! If you portray that type of attitude in your approach trust me you will be disqualified.

Take it from me I used to do this and I was consistently disappointed. Women aren’t goddesses and they sure aren’t perfect.

***Sidebar***

If you really want ADVANCED information on flirting with women then I recommend you take a look at Flirt Mastery by Steve Scott. This site covers all you need to know about flirting with women.

===> http://www.datingadvicecafe.com/course/flirtmastery.htm

*** End Sidebar***

That type of mentality is nothing more than low self confidence and you must change your thinking from ‘she is a goddess’ to she’d be lucky to date a guy like myself.

Is this arrogance? No – I would have to disagree with that assumption. I by no means suggesting to treat women like crap. Trust, Honesty and Respect are virtues I value in life as you should as well.

The only women that are out of your league are those women that are married. Any other single woman is fair game in my book. The nest time you see a hot woman don’t put her on a pedestal and think she’s out of your league.

Approach her – besides what else to you really have to lose?

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Wow what a weekend and it’s still not over!! This past Saturday was my friends bachelor party and I must admit it was a ton of fun. All of us basically celebrating his leap forward into a new phase in his life.

Bro I wish you and your new women the best man!!

I want to talk about something to you guys about how some men seem to have women just wrapped around their fingers and at the same time it looks as though they don’t even make an effort or try.

Essentially that is the secret sauce so to speak – all they do is act aloof and not call them every 5 minutes. 

You want to primarily communicate you are a mystery to women. That is your #1 weapon because you are letting her know you have your own life and you have options other than her.

Yes I know you want to go in your life story and spill the beans on all you accomplished and what a great catch you are. But that’s where most guys go wrong and screw it all up. Let her FILL IN THE BLANKS. In short don’t be too candid as to how you spend your free time – instead deflect and ask her questions.

In sales there’s an old saying – he who asks the questions is in control.

***Sidebar***

If you really want ADVANCED information on flirting with women then I recommend you take a look at Flirt Mastery by Steve Scott. This site covers all you need to know about flirting with women.
===> http://www.datingadvicecafe.com/course/flirtmastery.htm

*** End Sidebar***

That old saying couldn’t be more true – you want to ask questions about what she likes to do (women love talking about themselves) and now it’s the perfect time to inject humor and playfully tease her on what she reveals to you.

Don’t get me wrong she will ask you questions as well but answer some of them and again don’t reveal your entire background.

Okay guys I hope this will sink in the next time you are talking with women – my usual strategy is to ask them questions and tease them every so often based on what they say. It’s really not that hard and it works.

As for me I’m going to hit the guym in the next hour and head over to a BBQ this afternoon. Until next time – keep on keepin on!!

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I want to start off with an apology….

I know this month I have lagged on my postings and my trip to Utah didn’t help. My aim is to be in front of you helping you get better with women. Truth is that I’m behind and that’s not my intention – there is no excuse for being lazy.

Sorry for not keeping to my schedule.

Okay let start with some more tips on texting women.

From my last posting I got several emails asking about some more tips when texting women. Look it’s not that difficult all you have to do really is a couple of things – keep it fun and avoid boring texts.

If there is anything I noticed in particular with young women they LOVE TO TEXT – so much so it’s sickening. I see it all day long with the girls I work with. It’s amazing it seems they get paid to text their girlfriends and boyfriends.

Just think about it for a second, information is disseminated in so many ways now we don’t even have to talk to that person on the phone – texting is an option. The best part about texting is that you can use it to flirt with women and set up dates.

WARNING: There is one catch; you have to refine your texting skills with women because texting women like the average Joe will get you no where.

So what is the secret in texting women? Bantering or flirting with women in a fun playful way. The best thing it’s 10x better than emailing her since it can takes hours even days before she checks it.

***Sidebar***

If you really want ADVANCED information on flirting with women then I recommend you take a look at Flirt Mastery by Steve Scott. This site covers all you need to know about flirting with women.
===> Visit http://www.datingadvicecafe.com/course/flirtmastery.htm to learn more.

*** End Sidebar**

My rules or texting women:

1. I’m a big fan of pet names – sweetie, cuties sugar pie, darling, brat (I use darling the most).
2. Many times I’ll use :) smiley faces.
3. I always try to make her smile with my texts – being too serious will not get you anywhere.
4. Don’t be afraid to flirt with her!

Final note – you can pretty much text her when ever. I like to mass text an invite to meet up after work for drinks to several women and wait for a response. When I do get one to respond all I do it respond back and set up the meet.

Here are just some tips to use when texting women – they also come in handy for those women you don’t get to see very often.

Enjoy and keep on keepin on!

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